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Sunday, November 7, 2010

Stop trying to make fetch happen

Hi, my name's Andrew and I'm a conservative. (Hi Andrew) There is something I would like to share today and its not easy for me to say, I understand why the left doesn't like George Bush. All kidding and mildly offensive role playing aside, I really do. Deficits, wars, katrina, stupid Bushisms, big ears. I'm with you. (But don't say it too loudly, he'll be able to hear you) Very few people would agree he handled the above mentioned well. The surge and eventual clean up of Katrina were certainly much better but failures are failures, and you have to live them. He is not the worst president we've ever had. Think about Herbert Hoover, a president so bad a company based entirely on sucking named itself after him. (The Herbert Dry Vac Co. of course) Now take all that and ponder this nugget, why do people not dislike Obama for the same reasons. BP looked a lot like Katrina, 30k troops instead of 40k ignoring generals again, and the trillion dollar deficits. Now, a trillion is a lot. I use to read Zillions magazine as a kid and any number close to that is probably as bad as there morally ambiguous comics. So this brings me to our title, taken from the seminal film Mean Girls. (Not like that terrible Maureen Dowd article) We all remember high school, it's so much more fun making fun of people than cheering their mediocre accomplishments. So in the spirit of bipartisanship, let's start making fun of Obama together. On behalf of the GOP (which it is literally impossible for me to represent any less) we will make fun of Bush for the same things we say about Obama. We can make fun of their deficits, how they both looked detached handling anything not named Drew Brees in Louisiana, call them fat, laugh at their prom dresses, the sky is the limit. This is true bipartisanship, disdain and contemptable treatment. Americans are a mean bunch, hell we have an adversarial judicial system, so why try to fight it. Let's stop trying to be nice just because we voted a guy spring fling king. We're the opposition. All of us. And until Obama is eating lunch in the boy's bathroom by himself, we haven't won as a nation. Fear motivates better than love. Maybe by collectively striking fear into him (and shaving creaming his locker) Obama will start to govern the way we want rather than the way he has been.

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